Week 5: Pursuit of Positive

As I am nearing the 5-week mark of my surgery, it has occurred to me that people view me as a positive person. People make comments about how positively I’m handling this and that I’m strong. What they don’t realize is that my positivity, while natural, has been worked on. When you go through a lot of things like I have in my short life so far, you realize what’s really important in life. Superficial things are just that, superficial. I like to say that you can’t take your toys with you when you die. You can’t take a jet. You can’t take a car or a house. That would be a rather large coffin. You can only take yourself and your heart. These are developed from the most important commodities in life, your sense of self and relationships.

When facing adversity, happiness is a choice. It seems cliché and/or a bit Disney. But Holly, you say, that’s easier said than done. That is correct. There are times you want to yell at the word happiness out of spite. But what people fail to realize is that happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a perspective. I’m not always happy. This injury has tested me emotionally. I have cried. I have been angry. There is a grieving process to a major injury. I allow myself to feel it but I don’t live in it. I pull myself together and focus on what I do have, which is an opportunity to get better. In this, being positive is a weapon. It is the sword against frustration. By choosing to focus on the positive, I am destroying the negative.

When I’m off the field, I’m a genuine and sweet person. On the field, a switch happens and I become a warrior. This has been developed through years of training on and off the field. I had a natural fighter in me my whole life and one of the things I’ve loved about football is that it has really brought it out of me. I spoke to my team this week about ATTACKING the opportunity. That is what I’m attempting to do with this injury. Attacking could mean rest as well but it’s a mindset of not psychologically checking out. I’m still in the game but from a different perspective. Instead of an opponent across the line of scrimmage, my teammate and my opponent is my mind. On that field, I am choosing to attack it with positive.

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This week I have seen some good progress. I’m able to stand with crutches a lot longer. I can now walk baby steps with the aid of crutches for a few feet. My range of motion is getting better and I can tell when I’m getting in and out of the car that it’s getting easier. I’m getting very dexterous with my crutches and going around the building at work and crutching around the field has left me feeling stronger. My arms are getting ripped from the movement.

 I am taking a lot of vitamins and supplements and I really think it’s helping. I’m still icing twice a day using my cyrocuff. I used the moxibustion sticks which always feels nice.

I have learned to try to be efficient with my trips. What I mean by that is, every time I get up to go into a different room, I’m always thinking, is there anything I need to take with me there. And on the way back I think the same way. That way, I’m not making 12 thousand wasted trips.

During the game on Saturday I used a moxibustion patch which was soothing. I also wore a fitbit and tracked around 3.5 miles on crutches. No wonder I felt dead afterwards.

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My next post-op appointment is next week. It is hard to know where one is on the timeline of recovery but I feel like I’m ahead of where I should be. I will find out during this appointment and maybe have an idea of where I stand and when I can start going to PT.

 Stay tuned!

Here is my interview with Gridiron Beauties this week:

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